Judith's Jottings » Blog Home Page
FEAR - another way to feel stuck with decluttering! - 22nd January 2025
If you have arrived here via my newsletter, Judith's Jottings, then you will likely know that at the end of 2024 I had the idea to write a series of three blog articles for people who want to declutter but can't make progress because they always end up STUCK. If that's you then read on! If you missed the first article you can find it in the blog list on my website. It's the January 2025 edition. 
Does this sound familiar?
I've known for a long time that it's possible for someone to want to take a particular action but still not be able to follow through with it. The desire originates in the logical mind, "I really need to do some decluttering around here! Things look pretty untidy."
It might even get to the point of the person deciding when they might tackle the decluttering (or any other activity for that matter). But when it comes to decision time the person freezes, can't do anything, can't think straight, questions why they are even attempting to do this thing. There might not be any conscious thoughts that can be detected at this point. If I were to ask the person, "Why can't you even make a start with this?" the likely response would be "I don't know - I just can't do it!"
What is going on here?
It's highly likely that the person is experiencing fear. Take a look at the image I chose for this blog post, does it resonate with you for all the times you have just felt completely stuck and practically immobilised? Most people are aware that when our nervous system detects a threat it switches us into fight, flight or freeze mode. Being pinned to the spot and unable to have a coherent thought would be "Freeze" but perhaps you can also detect an element of "Flight" in your avoidance of the task? In other words going out of the house and getting away from the issue might sometimes be your approach.
I remember years ago a woman told me that her cluttered spare room felt like a big scary monster! So there you have it. Be assured you are not alone in how you feel. I've worked with countless clients and many have been very anxious about addressing their clutter.
You are not anxiety - You are not fear
Somebody recently posed this question on Facebook, "How do I know the difference between anxiety and intuition?"
Having lived much of my life with chronic anxiety I found this to be a thought provoking question. The woman who posed the question was likely having some kind of impulse in her body that directed her towards or away from a particular course of action. I know from my lived experience that anxiety can pop up more or less as an instruction "Don't do that! It's not safe!"
If you grew up as I did with a parent who had chronic anxiety and shouted a lot it's hardly surprising you have internalised that voice. Despite leaving home in 1989 and getting married I lived for many years with ridiculous restrictions on my life. For a long time I didn't realise I was allowing this to happen. Something in my mind tried to tell me that this was how life was supposed to be lived! I can't say I have cleared all of it but friends and family are commenting on my transformation.
What I appreciate now is that unfortunately the programmed voice of fear is stronger than our intuition. Fear is like a loud mouthed intruder shouting at the top of its voice! Intuition never shouts. It whispers in a kind voice. I sense my intuition in a subtle way as it encourages and directs me in certain actions. It can keep me safe sometimes but not in an over dramatic panicky way. Think of this extreme version of fear as head clutter, which it is really. It's possible to bring it down to a more acceptable level.
Some small steps you can take
If your situation is along these lines then the first thing is to acknowledge you have this fearful voice inside you but, IT IS NOT YOU! Once you accept that you have been invaded you can become more aware. Awareness is key. Every time the fearful voice pipes up in an inappropriate situation you can counter what it is saying with something calm and positive but relevant to what you need to do. In other words, despite feeling a bit fearful you can access your adult voice and counter the programmed voice. You will need to do this over and over again as often as is needed. You can also write some positive affirmations in the present tense that when read aloud will feed your subconscious mind with beliefs about your ability to make good decisions for your own wellbeing.
For example, you might write something like these, but do use your own words. Consider recording these and listening to them several times a day, especially before sleep.
"I am calm and always make decisions that serve my wellbeing."
"I am confident and self-assured in all situations."
"When I feel uncertain, I breathe deeply and listen to my inner guidance."
"I release unwanted possessions from my home with ease and gratitude. My home feels spacious and relaxing."
I hope you have found this blog post helpful and in March I will be writing the third and final post on the topic of what keeps people STUCK with decluttering. If you try everything I've suggested and still feel that fear is running your life then do consider asking me about one or more coaching sessions. There are techniques I can teach you that have helped me that go deeper. Send me an email to get the ball rolling. I offer a complimentary chat to see if what I offer is a good fit for you.
Keywords: anxiety, overwhelm, declutter
Click here to go back to the blog index
